One leap at a time!

The day starts with a caution of the amount of work in hand. You see, for an entrepreneur there is no end to work. The deadlines in which case are pretty hard to come by. I thought I will share with all of you here a very specific case to any entrepreneur. But before that, for those of you, who are not aware of what I am trying to do, I am just working on a solution that will help make good quality fresh produce easily accessible to everyone and ensure that food production is sustainable both economically and ecologically.

Every morning now has become too overwhelming with the tasks in hand. Two years of my life is now on the verge of finding some meaning. Its not that there wasn’t any; just that its time for the world to make something out of my efforts during the last two years. While riding on my bike on my way to a café where I am typing all this, I was thinking, and just couldn’t find a patch where I actively thought about my career more than the problem I was trying to solve. But you see, the world understands results and results only. And I like that, to be frank. It is just that at the end of such a huge effort, you just cant look back as results are still due. You reach a point in time, where the idea of having a career starts showing up every now and then while you are still at your problem in hand. That’s the tricky part.

My parents were concerned that I will have to settle quickly in life as I will be 29 in a few weeks. Going to be past my prime in a few days, you know. But not many know, their support is what’s allowing me to type all this still being hopeful of a successful career going forward. It is not that bad too as I am apparently sounding it to be. However, when the uncertainties start riding, you tend to assume the worst possible outcomes most of the time. 

Strengthening a wonderful personal relationship of nearly 2 years now, I am an entrepreneur in pursuit of a marriage as well. And I must agree that this was the one thing that kept me going irrespective of all the ups and downs on the work front. For a guy working on ecological and economic stability of agriculture, his own economics and surroundings will be of some priority now. Although there is immense clarity on my personal life and the way I am going to continue living it, and immense clarity on the work I am doing, the chances of it bearing fruit is something not in my control and all the uncertainties currently are finding mileage because of this.  

May be, I could have started a year before on this journey, the situation forces me to think. May be, I could have avoided a few decisions that I took enroute solving the problem at hand. May be, I could have teamed up right. May be, I should stop thinking too much. There are a thousand ways to do the same things being done. All the ‘May be thoughts’ haven’t given me the comfort I wanted either. I don’t see any point now in thinking about it, although it continues to surface every now and then. I take this to be the toughest phase of my entrepreneurial journey yet. And with that I prepare myself to more tough ones going forward. I think sometimes as to; after having shared my plans with people who are concerned about my life, why couldn’t I have had a job that had an office, a boss, a few teammates and a coffee machine. I could come back home after work. Well, for me, the definition of ‘work’ per se has taken a good beating. It has so happened now, that whatever I do apart from sleeping inside my room and a little birding session on the weekends, everything seems to be work. I have no idea when to take a leave. Or should I/ could I take one? I meet random people. Some of them are starting to fit very well into the scheme of things though. And that’s a positive I am now able to derive. People believe in my story and are willing to collaborate. And to that extent, I take it as a partial success. You see, I need to keep motivating myself.

Lot of people are behind me to stop attending meetings and start operations, including my customers. Sometimes, I am lost in coming out with an explanation for the fact that I need to put atleast 3 months to convert an idea into a functional business unit. This is the phase where I am pondering alone. You need to get the entity registered, plan for a team, get money, have strategies in place, and be really quick at all this. Thankfully I have the comfort of a few people who will come on board in a few weeks time and are ready to take this idea forward. It is just a matter of time. This is when I negated lot of the ‘May be thoughts’ I shared above. The simple fact that all the things I did post college, all the experiences I gained at work and my stay with the tribals, is whats helping me throw out ideas on paper. At this critical juncture, I would have loved to have a team in place that will brainstorm and bounce ideas off. And that is why I choose to share here the fact of a solo journey, any entrepreneur will have to take. But lesser do we realize that it is just a matter of time, before we can have a team in place and live the dream. It is just that, all this takes such a big toll on our minds, we are forced to think we are alone.

It seems so scary and invitingly sympathetic, isn’t it? Yes it is. How will it not, when I am sharing the scariest part of being an entrepreneur. I will tell you one secret I have got. All I have done to manage myself well in this situation is to stop attaching too much value to my mind. The mind is one thing, if allowed, that disturbs human nature even without you doing absolutely anything. See, all the things that had little sympathetic value in my story above was purely because of an incident that has happened in the past, or off the uncertainties about the future. Both of which I am not in control of. All I can, is to continue working, but more smartly this time around. I can persevere for as long as it takes in real for the idea to start showing results. Also as an entrepreneur I can’t work all my life and not have results. You see where the ambiguity comes from, for a social entrepreneur.

I, for sure, want to see numbers thriving, quarter by quarter. I remind myself everyday that those thriving numbers isn’t too far out. Although every morning I wake up and get to work with an awareness that this thing might see an end sooner than I think; the whole effort is to not lead it there and ensure every stakeholder is happy working on this. We are at the brink now. I tell myself everyday, its just one more innings to play out, one more day to see through. It doesnt matter how far you can jump, it is still one leap at a time.